WHAT IS LEADING?
You will succeed in dating if you focus on just two things: your behaviors and the emotions you bring out in women.
Men who are very successful with women and dating focus on the following emotions and behaviors:
Emotions: Her attraction to you and your rapport as a couple
Behaviors: His leading and escalation behaviors
I’ve already discussed the best things to ignore and score when it comes to Attraction, so now let’s discuss Leading.
Leading is about taking action.
Why do most men fail to be successful in dating and in life? They don’t take action.
If you’re struggling to attract amazing women into your life, it’s because you don’t have or use your own power. You don’t have that power because you’re constantly giving it away.
Here are some ways you may be giving up your power:
- Putting her on a pedestal.
- Forcing her to lead; i.e., asking her to make all of the decisions.
- Asking for permission.
- Constantly apologizing.
- Constantly worrying that you’ll upset her.
- Seeking her approval, praise and her constant attention.
- Instead of voicing your opinions, going along with her, then seeking your “revenge” through passive aggressive behaviors.
- Trying to manipulate her by bragging, lying, or being domineering.
How can any woman, especially one with high social value (a woman adored by many men), possibly find you attractive if you’re busy giving her all of your power?
The worst thing is that she thinks she wants that power, but ultimately it will demolish her attraction and respect for you. It’s called chronic male supplication, and it’s killing the love lives of this generation: Men Supplicating To Women, And The Women Who Hate Them For It ( my next eBook? ;)
It’s universally understood that women are attracted to leaders. This doesn’t mean you need to be a social leader, although it helps; it simply means your behaviors must communicate to her that you’re in control of yourself.
She needs to feel that you’re able to make decisions, take action, and ignore your own fears. These are leadership behaviors. These are the behaviors that will communicate to her “this guy has his shit together and will not only support and protect me when I need it, he’ll lead me into experiences I’ve never had before.”
Women want to be with a man who can lead; a man she can trust enough to take over.
Ultimately, women won’t be attracted to men who are burdens. This means you must manage your own life, home, wealth, health, and passions. If you spend your time asking her to make decisions, she’ll worry that you’re just a long‐term burden.
Suggestions for displaying leadership qualities:
- If she smiles at you then you must go over and introduce yourself.
- If you have gone through the trouble of walking over and introducing yourself, then you must at least try to get her number before you leave.
- Don’t ask her where she wants to go for dinner, just simply surprise her.
- Take her hand when helping her out of a car.
- Go the long way around a car to get to her door.
- Guide her safely across a crowded room, either by the hand, or by holding out your arm for her.
- Walk her safely to her car.
- Playfully suggest what she should wear before you pick her up.
- Kiss her on the first date, or at least attempt to, even if it’s awkward. If there’s a second date she’ll know you’ll be trying again, which means she’s okay with it, otherwise there wouldn’t be a second date.
- Spend time being more social, even if it means you must leave your comfort zone once in a while – these skills translate into many aspects of your life.
- Have your own opinions; don’t worry about disagreeing sometimes.
- Have your own personality, identity, and clearly‐defined boundaries.
- Don’t fake laugh.
- Have self‐discipline. This shows up in your ability to stay healthy, save money, plan trips, and to ultimately manage your own life.
- Have a passion independent of women; perhaps a hobby, or your day job.
Your enthusiasm for your work will go a long way to winning over most women, no matter what your work actually is.
In fact, both men and women are attracted to leaders.
Why?
Most people would simply prefer to “obey” than “follow.” There’s no risk; there’s no responsibility. It’s just easier.
If you look at the average man who’s terrible with women you’ll see he exhibits this “follower” mindset. He obeys. He puts women on pedestals and worries too much about getting her permission or approval. This is a victim mentality. These same guys say things like “oh, she wouldn’t like me because I don’t make enough money.”
Luckily, this isn’t you.
Victims don’t read eBooks about women, sex and dating. That’s a leadership trait. |
